An Actress I Noticed Years Ago Finally Became Famous. I’m Happy for Her, but a Little Lonely

“There she is again.”

Lately, whenever I watch television, there is one actress who keeps making me think that.

TV dramas, commercials, variety shows—I see her everywhere.

She is over 40 now, and she is unbelievably beautiful.

I first became aware of her when she was in her early thirties.

She was not particularly famous at the time. Even when she appeared in a drama, she was usually in a supporting role or had only a few scenes.

Even so, whenever she appeared on screen, she somehow caught my eye.

“How can someone this beautiful not be famous?”

I thought that every time I saw her on television.

Show business is a strange world.

Being beautiful does not guarantee success. Being a good actor does not guarantee a leading role.

Luck, timing, or one small opportunity can change a person’s life.

As far as I was concerned, someone that beautiful was bound to become famous one day.

That said, I was never a devoted fan.

I did not follow everything she appeared in, and I never joined her fan club.

Whenever she appeared on television, I would simply notice her and think, “Oh, it’s her.” That was the full extent of our relationship.

The Public Finally Noticed

Over the past few years, however, everything has changed.

She now stars in dramas, appears in commercials, and turns up on variety shows.

These days, whenever I turn on the television, she seems to be on something.

“See? I knew she would make it.”

I did not help launch her career or actively campaign for her, yet for some reason I feel a little proud.

The public has finally realized what I knew ten years ago.

It certainly took them long enough.

I’m Happy She Became Famous, So Why Do I Feel Lonely?

Strangely, however, I have also begun to feel a little lonely.

Before, when I occasionally saw her on television, I was happy to think, “Oh, she’s on again.”

Now she is everywhere.

There is nothing unusual about seeing her anymore.

The wonderful actress I had imagined was known only to me somehow became a nationally popular star before I knew it.

Of course, I was never the only person who knew about her.

Even so, I somehow felt as though I had discovered her first.

Only recently have I begun to understand a little of how people feel when they support underground idols or struggling entertainers.

They support someone from the days before the public knows who they are, and they are delighted when that person becomes popular.

But when the person becomes too successful, they begin to feel lonely instead.

After wanting them to succeed so badly, they finally do, and suddenly it feels as though they have gone somewhere far away.

It is terribly selfish.

Acting Like a Longtime Fan When I Was Never Really a Fan

When I think about it, I have not contributed anything to this actress’s success.

I did not watch her work faithfully, and I never bought any merchandise.

I simply knew about her from years ago.

And yet, when I see how successful she is now, I somehow feel like one of her longtime fans.

“You know, she used to have tiny roles.”

No one has asked, but I still feel the urge to say something like that.

From her point of view, some older man she has never met is simply getting sentimental on his own.

Human emotions are funny things.

When she was not famous, I thought, “She deserves more recognition.” Now that she is famous, I find myself thinking, “This is a little lonely.”

Perhaps what I liked was not only the actress herself, but also the version of me who knew about a beautiful actress the rest of the world had not discovered yet.

And today, once again, I turn on the television.

“Oh, she’s on again.”

This time, my feelings are just a little more complicated.

I claim the status of a longtime fan despite having done nothing, and I feel lonely despite having lost nothing.

Fans truly are selfish creatures. In my case, though, I was never even a fan in the first place.