People Who Shout “I Quit” Are Not Leaving Yet. Those Who Really Leave Say Nothing

The other day, my wife apparently told her manager at work, “I’ve had enough. I quit!”

She even declared that if they did not like it, they were welcome to fire her.

Her manager, however, reportedly switched to trying to persuade her to stay: “Well, perhaps we can work something out…”

Quite a spirited exchange.

But when I heard the story, I thought the day my wife actually leaves the company is probably still some way off.

Why? Because people who truly intend to leave do not shout, “I quit.”

Complaining Is Proof That You Still Have Expectations

People who are unhappy with their company often complain.

“That manager understands nothing.”

“I’ve had enough of this company. I quit.”

But when you think about it, this is rather strange.

If you have truly given up on a company, there is no reason to go out of your way to complain to your manager.

Getting angry requires a considerable amount of energy.

People spend that energy because they still expect something from the other side.

“I want you to understand.” “I want things to improve.” “I want you to treat me differently.”

In other words, “I quit” can also mean, “So do something about this.”

From a manager’s perspective, an employee who is still shouting is still relatively reassuring.

Persuading them may be troublesome, but at least there is still room to negotiate.

Employees who complain to the company are, in fact, still willing to engage with it.

When People Truly Decide to Leave, They Become Surprisingly Quiet

That was my own experience when I left a company where I once worked.

I did not have a particular fight with my manager, nor did I make a scene at work by shouting that I would quit.

I simply stopped intending to entrust my future to the company.

Once that happened, I became strangely incapable of getting angry.

Even when I disagreed with company policy, I thought, “Fine. Do whatever you want.”

Whatever my manager said no longer had anything to do with me.

Meanwhile, I quietly prepared for what came next.

Then I made the decision to resign and informed the company.

My manager was surprised.

From my perspective, the surprising thing was that he was surprised.

I had reached my conclusion long before.

By the time the company finally hears about the resignation, the employee has already completed the resignation internally.

Only the administrative procedures remain.

The Employees Managers Should Truly Fear

For managers, subordinates who complain frequently are troublesome.

They argue in meetings. They complain about their treatment. They confront their managers.

But these employees are still easy to understand.

They go out of their way to tell you exactly what is wrong.

The truly frightening employee is the one who suddenly stops saying anything.

They used to suggest improvements, but now they silently follow instructions.

They no longer disagree in meetings or show any interest in the company’s future.

The manager may be pleased and think, “They have finally matured.”

But in the employee’s mind, they are already thinking about their next company.

The once-defiant employee has not become obedient.

They have simply stopped expecting anything from the company.

A manager who mistakes this for a management success must be a remarkably happy person.

Be Grateful While People Are Still Complaining

This is not limited to the workplace.

The same applies to marriages, friendships, and romantic relationships.

As long as the other person is angry and complaining, they still want to do something to repair the relationship.

When people have truly given up on someone, they no longer have the energy even to explain.

When anger turns into indifference, the relationship is effectively over.

So while it may be necessary to rush to retain an employee shouting, “I quit,” there is another kind of employee you should truly be watching.

They arrive at work properly every day, complete the tasks they are given, never oppose their manager, and always smile calmly.

Then, one day, they suddenly submit their resignation.

The manager says:

“If you were unhappy about something, I wish you had discussed it with me sooner.”

No. The period for discussion ended long ago.

While an employee is shouting, they are a “problem employee.” Once they begin working quietly, they become a “model employee.” The moment they submit a resignation, they become an “irresponsible employee who quit without warning.”

Companies have remarkably convenient evaluation systems right to the very end.