Thailand If You Are Moving with Your Wife, the Philippines If You Want a Mistress: A Blunt Analysis by an Expat YouTuber

The other day, I watched a video by an investment-focused YouTuber discussing relocation to Southeast Asia.

The video compared Vietnam, Thailand, and the Philippines and explained which country was the easiest place to live.

Videos like this are not unusual. The cost of living is low, the food is good, the climate is warm, and retirement expenses can be kept down. They generally cover the same ground.

Halfway through, however, this video took a peculiar turn.

To give away the conclusion, it was this:

“Thailand if you are living with your wife. The Philippines if you want a mistress.”

It was an extraordinarily blunt claim, but what made it entertaining was that he explained it seriously, complete with demographic data.

Thailand Is Far More Convenient for Everyday Life

The video began with an ordinary discussion of moving abroad.

According to the creator, Thailand is the best choice for living in Southeast Asia.

Its infrastructure is well developed, and transportation, medical care, and shopping present few difficulties. It is also relatively safe and has a well-established environment for foreign residents.

The Philippines, by contrast, has problems with safety and infrastructure and does not match Thailand in everyday comfort, he said.

Up to this point, it was perfectly conventional relocation advice.

Thailand would be a good place for a married couple to spend their retirement.

That made sense to me.

But the creator did not stop there.

The Philippines If You Want a Mistress—and the Evidence Is Its Population Pyramid

The subject abruptly shifted to dating women.

“If you want a girlfriend, the Philippines is overwhelmingly the best choice.”

This was not merely a personal anecdote either.

He displayed population pyramids and fertility-rate data on the screen and began explaining why the Philippines offered an advantage.

Thailand has an aging population and a declining birthrate, so its younger generations are shrinking. Because it is also comfortable to live in, large numbers of foreign men arrive from Western countries and elsewhere.

His argument, in other words, was that competition is intense for middle-aged and older men who want to date younger women.

The Philippines, by contrast, has a young population and a large younger generation. Because its living environment is not as developed as Thailand’s, there are also relatively fewer foreign male competitors.

In short, it was an argument about supply and demand.

He was analyzing the dating market for women in the same tone one might use to analyze real estate or the stock market.

It is rare to see anyone use demographic data for such a worldly purpose.

And that led to the final conclusion quoted at the beginning.

“Thailand if you are living with your wife. The Philippines if you want a mistress.”

I thought I was watching an explanation of overseas relocation, but at some point it had turned into a dating-market analysis for middle-aged men.

It Is Entertaining Because He Does Not Pretend to Be Noble

Leaving aside how accurately this analysis reflects reality, I found it quite entertaining.

Ordinary relocation advice lists such factors as safety, prices, healthcare, transportation, and food.

But those are not the only reasons people go abroad.

They may want to date younger women. They may want to indulge in things they could not do in Japan. They may want to let loose somewhere no one knows them.

Such motives surely exist too.

Yet they rarely appear in the information presented publicly.

“Experience beautiful nature and the local culture as you enjoy a new chapter in life.”

All we usually hear are refined explanations like that.

In reality, some people are probably more interested in nightlife than cultural exchange.

What made this creator entertaining was that he made no attempt to conceal such desires and even brought in the oddly academic tool of demographic statistics.

The analysis sounded plausible, while the conclusion was spectacularly vulgar.

That contrast was what made it funny.

Hide Your Face or Abandon Japanese

This YouTuber is anonymous and never shows his face.

That is probably what allows him to speak so freely.

My own blog operates under somewhat similar circumstances.

I publish both my name and a photograph of my face. In exchange, I decided to write my blog only in English.

I used to publish a Japanese version as well, but I no longer do.

The reason is simple.

When I imagine Japanese people reading it, I can no longer write what I actually want to write.

It is not that Japanese people as a whole frighten me.

The problem is the possibility of acquaintances and family members reading it.

Especially my wife.

I can write whatever I like about politics and social issues. But what would my wife think if I published an article like this one, about dating women overseas, in Japanese?

“This is merely social analysis, not an expression of my own desires.”

That is the sort of explanation I would have to make.

By that point, it would already be too much trouble.

Writing in English makes it less likely that people close to me will read it than writing in Japanese does.

Of course, English offers no guarantee that they will never see it. Even so, it gives me considerably more psychological freedom.

Some people express their honest opinions anonymously in Japanese. Others write their honest opinions under their real names in English.

I belong to the latter group.

Freedom of Speech Is Surprisingly Scarce at Home

When you think about it, freedom of expression is a strange thing.

You are free to criticize politicians, criticize companies, and point out contradictions in society.

The moment you imagine your wife reading your words, however, you suddenly become cautious.

Sometimes relationships at home influence what we write more than censorship by the state.

The YouTuber gained freedom by hiding his face.

I secure a certain amount of freedom by writing in English.

Our methods are different, but what we are doing is much the same.

Japan has freedom of speech.

In my household, however, I have decided to exercise it in English.