Were the “Annoying Teachers” of the Past a Necessary Evil? The Danger of Calling Inaction “Respect”

Recently, I read a high school teacher’s complaint on an online forum.

There is no way to know whether an anonymous post is true, but the story stayed with me.

According to the teacher, it has become difficult to give students firm guidance. Speak too harshly, and parents complain. Offer a realistic assessment of a student’s career prospects, and it is criticized as “imposing your values.”

One of the teacher’s students barely studied because he said he was going to become a YouTuber.

At first, the teacher tried to persuade him. The student had no intention of changing his mind, however, so the teacher reported the situation to the vice principal, confirmed the student’s wishes, and stopped intervening.

When the time came to decide what to do after graduation, the student’s parents were shocked to discover that he had made no preparations.

The teacher explained:

“He has no intention of going on to higher education. He wants to become a YouTuber. I have confirmed this with him several times.”

The parents accepted the situation without filing a complaint against the school.

In the end, the student reportedly failed his entrance examinations and was unable to find a job.

As I read the story, one thought occurred to me.

From the teacher’s perspective, was this not a flawless response?

The teacher informed a supervisor, confirmed the student’s wishes, and did not force him to do anything.

As organizational risk management, it was close to perfect.

For the student’s life, it was a disaster.

“We Respected His Wishes” Can Become the Ultimate Disclaimer

“We respect the individual’s wishes.”

It sounds admirable. It is also an extremely convenient phrase.

Imagine a 17- or 18-year-old saying:

“I don’t need to study. I’m going to become a YouTuber.”

An adult replies:

“I see. It is your life, so I respect your decision.”

The adult has respected the student’s autonomy, accepted an unconventional path, and avoided imposing unnecessary values.

Nobody gets blamed.

But a few years later, the student is the one who has to live with the consequences.

If we call that personal responsibility, it is a remarkably cold version of the idea.

Teenagers are supposed to make mistakes in judgment.

I certainly would not want to entrust every decision about my future to the person I was in high school.

A Teacher Hit Me When I Was in High School

That does not mean I intend to romanticize the teachers of the past.

I was hit by a teacher when I was in high school.

Today, that would be completely unacceptable, and I was understandably furious even at the time.

There was a period when I disliked teachers as a group.

Even if one of them had told me, “Your teacher is only thinking about your future,” my response would have been:

I don’t care. Just don’t hit me.

Looking back now that I am in my fifties, however, I can see another side of it.

At the very least, teachers in those days believed that interfering in a student’s life was part of their job.

“You will never make a living on that path.”

“You need to study a little harder.”

“At this rate, you will not be able to find a job.”

At the time, I found such comments unbearably annoying.

But the easiest choice for a teacher is to say none of them.

Leaving Someone Alone Is Incredibly Easy

Correcting another person is exhausting.

They push back. They dislike you. Their parents may even complain.

It is far easier to end the matter by saying:

“We respected the student’s wishes.”

Today, that can even pass as the educationally correct response.

Adults interfered too much in children’s lives in the past.

Now, however, I sometimes feel that we have accumulated too many respectable reasons not to intervene at all.

The opposite of excessive interference is not necessarily respect. Sometimes it is simply neglect.

The Distance Between “Do Not Hit Them” and “Say Nothing”

I have no desire to return to an era when teachers shouted at students, hit them, and unilaterally decided their futures.

Having been hit myself, I could hardly feel otherwise.

But I am also uneasy about sending an 18-year-old straight into society after saying only:

“The student made the decision.”

“We confirmed the student’s wishes.”

Perhaps adults sometimes need to accept the role of being disliked.

We need people who will persist in saying:

“You are free to make your own choice. But I think this choice is a mistake.”

When I was in high school, I hated teachers like that.

If I became a high school student again, I would probably hate them all over again.

I have absolutely no desire to return to the past.

But there must be a great deal of distance between “Do not hit them” and “Say nothing.”