What If Godzilla Appeared in Tokyo? The JSDF Took the Question Far More Seriously Than Expected

Years ago, I saw an amusing segment on a television variety show.

“If Godzilla appeared in Tokyo, how would the Japan Self-Defense Forces repel it?”

The television crew actually interviewed the JSDF and asked about its strategy.

The producers probably intended it as a lighthearted joke.

“Well, obviously we couldn’t beat Godzilla. Ha ha.”

Perhaps that was the kind of answer they expected.

But the JSDF representative was different.

This man was completely serious.

They Did Not Need to Kill Godzilla

The first interesting point was how he defined victory.

The JSDF representative did not make killing Godzilla the objective.

The goal was to drive it out of Tokyo—preferably back into the sea.

That actually makes perfect sense.

The opponent is a gigantic monster. No one knows whether it can be defeated. If the JSDF can minimize the damage to Tokyo and force it to retreat, the mission is accomplished.

Then the representative began explaining the specific strategy.

First, they would concentrate their attacks on the base of Godzilla’s toenails.

The initial objective would be to cause pain and halt its advance.

Next, they would target its eyes.

By taking away its vision and breaking its will to fight, they would force it to withdraw from Tokyo.

Come on. Wait a minute.

This is Godzilla we are talking about.

But the representative continued to explain the plan with complete seriousness.

He laid out where to attack, how to restrict Godzilla’s movements, and finally how to make it retreat.

He had constructed a proper military operation against a fictional monster.

A Variety Show Turned into a Strategy Meeting

What amused me most about this story was the JSDF representative’s attitude.

The television crew probably would have been satisfied simply to ask an unusual question and receive an entertaining answer.

Instead, the JSDF accepted the premise that Godzilla had appeared and seriously considered how to respond.

The representative did not say anything dull like, “Monsters like that do not exist.”

If the discussion is hypothetical, then you develop the best strategy available within that hypothetical world.

I really like that.

As I recall, even the program’s narration ended with something along the lines of, “The JSDF is fully prepared and eager to fight.”

The segment was originally designed to make people laugh, but it became even funnier because the interview subject took it far more seriously than expected.

I like stories like this.

Even against a fictional monster, they defined the conditions for victory and devised specific steps.

That peculiar earnestness also made them seem reassuringly professional.

Of course, if Godzilla actually came ashore from Tokyo Bay, it is doubtful that attacking its toes would be enough to stop it.

Even so, I sincerely hope the JSDF would do its best.

But I also hope they have a proper plan for what happens if the first attack makes Godzilla absolutely furious.